I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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