why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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