So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
