so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
