I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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