Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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