i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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