MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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