Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
