forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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