Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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