you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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