drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
