Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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