Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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