im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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