He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
