Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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