i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize