I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
