We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
