I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
