Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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