So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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