Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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