Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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