Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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