i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize