i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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