Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
