Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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