we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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