Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize