I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
