my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize