Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So vagazzling was a success
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize