just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
