yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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