1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
