Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
