He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
