it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
