If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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