Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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