Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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