I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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