If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
