So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dignity is for republicans.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize