JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
