also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
