Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
