I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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