Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
