i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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