why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
