I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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