I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
