Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm both gender and math confused
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
