The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
