god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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