Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
