So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
