I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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