i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
