Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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