Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
