my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
