its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
