I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
