i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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