Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
