I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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