just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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