yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize