I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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