bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
COCAINE IS GR8
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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