after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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