Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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